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UnAnything Wiki:Captain 1's Revenge
Captain 1 has stolen Chuck Norris' Tears. Absorbing their power, he has become nearly as powerful as an Undefeatable. Captain 0 has fled UnAnything, fearing for his life and the lives of the UnAnything Team. His only hope is to get help from the Undefeatables... Characters Good Guys *Captain 0 - User:Thebiguglyalien *T-2500.5 - User:Marc122 *Cat - User:AwesomeGamer670 *Probotector - User:Oobooglunk Bad Guys *Captain 1 - User:Thebiguglyalien *Wikipedians - User:Oobooglunk *Metal Sonic - User:Thebiguglyalien Minor Characters *T-5000 - User:Marc122 *Morshu - User:Oobooglunk *Sonic - User:Oobooglunk Role Play Captain 0 is at Undefeatable Palace, presenting his case to the Undefeatables. CAPTAIN 0: Please, help! Captain 1 has stolen the sacred tear of Chuck Norris! He's become far too powerful! The UnAnything Wiki has fallen, and my team are in distress! I need back up, and there is no one greater than you to send assistance. I have served this counsel for hundreds of years. Now I ask this one favor of you: do what I would have done for you. Help the UnAnything Wiki. Captain 0 looks up to the T-5000, the undefeatable overseeing this meeting. T-5000: Pfft. Whatever. Why would you think this idiot can steal a really powerful tear this easily? All the Undefeatables burst into laughter as Captain 0's looks of hope quickly turns to one of fear. CAPTAIN 0: You don't understand! He's taken it from right under your noses, and you're doing nothing about it! I'll show you guys! Just you wait! Captain 0 turns around and walks toward the door. As he leaves, he is interrupted by a crash from outside. Then, a Probotector walks into the palace. PROBOTECTOR:'' Location unknown. State your names, UnRanks, and intents. Captain 0 morphs his hand into an energy cannon, and aims it at the Probotector. CAPTAIN 0: T? Orders? The T-2500.5, who came with a Probotector, clears his throat. T-2500.5: Ahem. I listened to Captain 0 and I agree that--He stole Chuck's tear?! Captain 0 gives a hesitant glance at the Probotector before lowering his weapon. CAPTAIN 0: Thanks, I guess. Well guys, it looks like 2500 here is the only one who accepts the facts. We will be back with the body of Captain 1. Meanwhile at Captain 1's lair, he is sitting on his twisted throne of red links and citations. He is shouting orders to the Wikipedians as they bow down to him. CAPTAIN 1: MOAR information! Purge all that is unknown and untrue! Everybody will be educated ''correctly! WIKIPEDIANS: All hail Captain 1! All hail Captain 1! CAPTAIN 1: The UnAnything Wiki has fallen! The UnAnything Team is in chains! Information has won over nonsense! All hail the Anything Wiki! Unaware of how bad things have gotten, Captain 0 and his new robot friends were preparing for war. CAPTAIN 0: Alright guys. Captain 1 has locked himself in the UnAnything Wiki, and there's no way we're going to get past him without help. We're going to need munitions. Specifically, we need to blow stuff up. And there's only one guy who can help us with that. With that, Captain 0 steps across the border between France and East Hyrule. CAPTAIN 0: We're off to find Morshu. T-2500.5: Yes. On it. PROBOTECTOR: Target recognized. Morshu is currently somewhere in Koridai. T-2500.5: Don't worry. I can teleport you all there. PROBOTECTOR: Plan accepted. The robots all teleport to Koridai, where they find Morshu carrying a huge bag with something enormous in it. CAPTAIN 0: Hello sir. I was wondering if we could purchase some of your fine hand-crafted bombs. MORSHU: Bombs? You want it? It's yours, my friend. As long as you have enough rubies! The Probotector pulls out the Dark Chaos Emerald and uses it as payment for 10 wonderfully-crafted bombs. MORSHU: This will do just fine! Where did you get it? PROBOTECTOR: Unknown. Memory banks missing. T-2500.5: He found it around the desert. CAPTAIN 0: Wait... did you guys just let him get away with the Dark Chaos Emerald?! That's as powerful as a thousand bombs! You idiot! Captain 0 smacks the Probotector upside the head. PROBOTECTOR: Violence detected! Violence detected! The Probotector blasts Captain 0 with a machine gun, but he manages to dodge the bullets in time. PROBOTECTOR: Mineral type: unknown. Circumstances of acquisition: unknown. Location found...Russia. CAPTAIN 0: I'm keeping an eye on you, Prober. Anyway, we've got the bombs. Not as good as a dark chaos emerald, but they'll do. Alright. So... can one of you calculate a plan or something? What are our odds of taking Captain 1 head on? PROBOTECTOR: Odds of survival: 10%. Primary threat: Unknown. Secondary threat: Captain 1. CAPTAIN 0: Probes, there's an error in your records. Captain 1 is the primary threat. Initiate a rewrite to correct that. Delete all information that may contradict with Captain 1 being the primary threat. PROBOTECTOR: Primary threat: unknown. Secondary threat: Captain 1. The Probotector searches its databanks for a moment before continuing. PROBOTECTOR: Captain 1 may be operating under external influence. Probability: 5%. He may also have found himself an astronomically powerful henchman. Probability: 95%. Primary threat adjusted: Captain 1 in tandem with unknown henchman. Secondary threat: Wikipedians. CAT: Someone help me! Please help me! PROBOTECTOR: Threat approaching! Threat approaching! The Probotector turns toward the cat, which is being chased by a Wikipedian, and shoots them both. The cat, however, only injures its tail. PROBOTECTOR: Dogs are the superior pet. CAPTAIN 0: Dude, chill. Cats are l33t. Captain 0 picks up the cat. CAPTAIN 0: Hey there little guy... OMG IT'S A TALKING CAT! Captain 0 throws the cat into the air. PROBOTECTOR: Target is defying gravity! Target identified as Gravity Cat! Alert! Alert! The Probotector whips out his machine gun once again. CAPTAIN 0: Probotector! Cease all aggressive operations until further orders are received! PROBOTECTOR: Sir, yes, sir! The Probotector puts his machine gun away. PROBOTECTOR: My actions have been highly abnormal. It appears that my central processing unit has been damaged. This may explain my memory loss thus far. Where can we have it repaired? T-2500.5: Don't worry, I can fix it. I've been a robot repairman since a day from last time I fought the evil, corrupted ego of my friend, the T-5001. Here, mister, I'll fix you all up. The T-2500.5 pulls out a huge toolbox and a hard drive. T-2500.5: I even stored the latest memory right before it became lost. As the Probotector's memory is restored, its visor flashes an alarming shade of red. PROBOTECTOR: Warning! Warning! Primary threat (alongside Captain 1) has been recognized! Captain 1 had the Metal Sonic suit stolen and taken to his lair. He also tried to acquire the Dark Chaos Emerald, but I stole it before he did and accidentally used Chaos Control. I teleported outside the Undefeatables' Palace and landed on my head, losing my memory in the process. CAPTAIN 0: Crap! Metal Sonic? How are we going to stop Metal Sonic? How are we going to get into the UnAnything Wiki? And why is that talking cat still staring at us?! CAT: Please listen! Captain 1 captured my family. All I got is this droplet of Chuck Norris' tear. I found it when I was walking at Sesame Street. I don't know how to use it. So I am giving this thing to all of you to defeat Captain 1. Please help me. All of you are my only hope. I believe that all of you are the Undefeatables. Help me please. Cat holds out his paw, on which there is a miniscule, golden droplet. The Probotector promptly takes it. PROBOTECTOR: I am technically not an Undefeatable, but I am here to Probotect and Serve™. Captain 0, what should I do with this tear? CAPTAIN 0: That teardrop is incredibly powerful. Since you have a history of giving away incredibly powerful items, I should probably hold onto it. T-2500.5: Why not split it into thirds? PROBOTECTOR: I approve. The Probotector stretches out his hand. CAPTAIN 0: Fine. But I'm selling you for scrap metal if you lose it. Captain 0 takes his portion and puts it in his inventory. PROBOTECTOR: Very well. The Probotector places his portion into one of the two weapon slots on his gun. The other slot is occupied by a "Machine Gun" power-up. T-2500.5: And I'll take the last one. The T-2500.5 takes the last piece of the tear portion and stores it in is pocket. CAT: Thanks guys. Here, according to my GPS, Captain 1 is heading to... Pac-Land? Why is he heading to Pac-Land? Does anybody have any idea. CAPTAIN 0: Who cares? He's not in the UnAnything Wiki! Now's our chance! If we hurry, we can get over to the UnAnything Wiki and take it back before he ever knows! PROBOTECTOR: Observation: Pac-Land once fought against the Sonic Islands and gained some of their territory. Deduction: Captain 1 may be looking for the Chaos Emeralds in order to power-up his Metal Sonic suit. Possible courses of action: A. Find Captain 1 and stop him by force. B. Take back the UnAnything Wiki while Captain 1 has left it. C. Find Sonic, the ruler of the Sonic Islands, and ask him where the Emeralds are. Lastly, D. Split up and do all of the above. CAPTAIN 0: A direct assault on UnAnything! If we miss our chance now, we might not get another! Option B! PROBOTECTOR: You are an Undefeatable, and could most likely take it back on your own. The risk of Captain 1 acquiring the Chaos Emeralds is too vast and sinister to ignore. I recommend Option D. T-2500.5: I'll take A... CAPTAIN 0: My home is at risk. I'm going to do anything and unanything necessary to protect it! If that means tying you up and dragging you to UnAnything, then I'll do it. PROBOTECTOR: A lot more than UnAnything will be at risk if we let Captain 1 get his hands on the Chaos Emeralds. You go save the wiki, the T-2500.5 will stop Captain 1, and I will look for Sonic. Failing that, I will come to the assistance of whichever one of us needs backup. Probotect and Serve™. Captain 0 is resentful, but he gives in. CAPTAIN 0: Fine. But if the UnWorld ends, I'm like totally blaming you. CAT: I'll protect UnAnything from any harm coming from Captain 1 and his evil allies. T-2500.5: Challenge accepted. Cut to Captain 1 on his way to Pac-Land. He also has tons of Wikipedians dressed as German soldiers while he is dressed as a German furher. He adjusts his fake Hitler mustache. CAPTAIN 1: Alright everyone! You know the plan! I only had enough candee to buy 24 hours of searching time from Pac-Man, so be quick. I've marked three search zones on your maps. Dig around, search every cave, pickpocket every pedestrian! Anyone who brings me an emerald gets to eat real food tonight. Cat teleports to UnAnything using his Portal Gun. CAT: Woah! What on Earth happened to UnAnything? I gotta tell Captain 0 quick! Oh crap. My portal gun's out of batteries again. Where can I recharge this gun now? Damn portal gun! Cat throws his portal gun at an amazing speed. CAT: Good thing I have these chili dog to keep my stomach from getting hungry. PROBOTECTOR: Very well. I shall think of a way to track down Sonic. The Probotector radioes in a helicopter. PROBOTECTOR: Drop a chili dog stand. No...no, I am not joking. No, we do not need a super-sonic missile tracker. Just drop a chili dog stand. SONIC: Did someone say "chili dog stand"? PROBOTECTOR: Sonic? What are you doing here? SONIC: All the other chili dog stands in the world have been emptied by my endless gluttony. Hey, these legs gotta get energy from some''where. PROBOTECTOR: Query: where are the Chaos Emeralds? SONIC: I have them in my pocket. Why? PROBOTECTOR: Give them here. SONIC: No dice. Let me see a chili dog, first. Then we'll talk.. The portal gun hits the helicopter where Probotector and Sonic are in resulting in a helicopter crash. CAT: What the! Hey, isn't that Probotector. And the guy next to him is.... Sonic! Cat approaches Probotector and Sonic to make sure he is looking at the right guys. CAT: It is Probotector! So Probotector. How long did it take you to find Sonic? Cat takes a bite at chili dog. SONIC: Don't. PROBOTECTOR: We are negotiating a deal for the Chaos Emeralds. Sonic would like to devour all these chili dogs. SONIC: You guys feed me as many as you can and I'll give you the Emeralds. Deal? PROBOTECTOR: We are running out of chili dogs. Cat, can you find some more? CAT: So you guys need chili dogs huh? Here, take this bag of chili dogs. I got 5 more bags of this awesome food. I love chili dogs you know. Cat gives Probotector and Sonic a bag of chili dogs. SONIC: Woo-hoo! I ''like this guy! All right, you may have the Chaos Emeralds. Just make sure they don't fall into the wrong hands. Sonic gives all the Chaos Emeralds to Cat. PROBOTECTOR: Excellent. Now, I shall travel to Pac-Land to stop Captain 1's rampage across it. SONIC: He's in Pac-Land? Ahh, let it get trampled. They took my land back in the Videogame War. PROBOTECTOR: Very well. I should see how the T-2500.5 is doing. Back to the Pac-Land, Captain 1 and the Wikipedians arrive there, only to encounter a yellow dot. The Wikipedians wonder what it is, but the dot transforms into the T-2500.5. T-2500.5: Go to Hell! Captain 1 and the Wikipedians jump back in surprise, not noticing that somebody is utterly decimating half of the Wikipedian army. It turns out to be the Probotector. PROBOTECTOR: Probotect and Serve™! One after the other, the Wikipedians fall, but Captain 1 remains unfazed. T-2500.5: Why won't you die, Captain 1?! PROBOTECTOR: He has consumed the tear; it makes him invincible. I will take care of this. The Probotector switches weapon slots, using the tiny droplet of Chuck Norris' tear as ammo instead. The droplet shoots outward at Captain 1 as he notices it and cackles. Then, as the droplet makes contact with Captain 1's face, it creates a massive nuclear explosion that sinks half of Pac-Land into the ocean. Unfortunately, Captain 1 survived and became a bit stronger. He laughs. CAPTAIN 1: Thank you. I needed that. Now, I'll make you a deal. You surrender to me, and become my loyal servants. Or, I can burn you alive. Your pick. To demonstrate, Captain 1 launches a stream of fire from his hands, burning so hot that it melts the rocks into lava and causes the nearby ocean to begin releasing steam. The T-2500.5 whispers a sneaky plan to the Probotector. Then, they turn to Captain 1. T-2500.5: We surrender. The T-2500.5 immediately freezes time with his time-freezing device. T-2500.5: Probotector, this plan WILL be legitimate. When Captain 1 starts talking, I drink the portion of the tear, okay? PROBOTECTOR: You are already an Undefeatable. Why do you need another tear portion? (Thinking) He would become twice as strong as Captain 1 already is. (Out loud) Never mind. I will try to create a diversion. T-2500.5: Yes. I'm still going to drink it, so it matches his strengh. Anyway, yes. Just then, the time-stopping device's power runs out. Captain 1 turns to the two robots and points his hands at them, fire burning in each hand. PROBOTECTOR: Captain 1! I know you have the Metal Sonic suit. Where...did...are you sure you put it in the correct location? The fire goes out. Captain 1 is confused. Captain 1: What? PROBOTECTOR: You...may have...placed the Metal Sonic suit in the wrong location. You should tell me where it is, just in case. CAPTAIN 1: You think I'm stupid?! Captain 1 fires an energy blast at the Probotector. However, he manages to flip-jump over it in the nick of time. PROBOTECTOR: T-2500.5, what are you waiting for? Do it! The T-2500.5 whacks Captain 1 with Thor's hammer. Captain 1 flies backwards. He hits the ground, and begins to pull himself back up. The T-2500.5 whacks him with it again. But this time, Captain 1 was ready. He flips backwards and shoots energy blasts at the T-2500.5. T-2500.5: AAAAAAAAAHH! WHY DO THEY MAKE MY MIND REALISTIC! Captain 1 follows up with a super-punch right in the T-2500.5's face. T-2500.5: Stop it! PROBOTECTOR: Captain 1! Over here! The Probotector blasts Captain 1 with his machine gun. PROBOTECTOR: T-2500.5, use the tear. It's now or never. The bullets bounce off of Captain 1, but they still daze him. He is attempting to regain his balance and aim his energy cannon at the Probotector. The T-2500.5 uses the tear to blast Captain 1. Captain 1 gets hit directly by the blast. He is laying in a large crater on the ground. He groans in pain. At this point, Captain 0 runs up using his super speed. CAPTAIN 0: What did I miss? T-2500.5: You're over, Captain 1. Captain 1 is weak, but still standing. CAPTAIN 1: Not exactly... A sonic boom is created as Captain 1 runs away at the speed of sound. CAPTAIN 0: What? Which way did he go? T-2500.5: He's escaped! The Probotector tries to radio in the helicopter, but it has crashed and does not respond. Suddenly, Sonic arrives. SONIC: I happened to hear your distress call from the helicopter crash. What's up? PROBOTECTOR: You are fast enough to catch Captain 1! Quickly, do it! He went that way. CAT: Hey Captain 0. I got the Chaos Emeralds. Care for some chili dogs? CAPTAIN 0: Not right now! We're kinda in the middle of something! Just then, everyone is thrown backwards as another sonic boom announces Captain 1's presence. But Captain 1 is nowhere to be found. Neither is the cat. Captain 0 is getting a call. He answers it, and listens. Then he hangs up and turns back to the robots. CAPTAIN 0: He's at the UnAnything Wiki! The UnAnything administrators, as intelligent and good looking as they are, can't stop him! And he has the cat! We need to teleport over there, now! CAT: Guys! Catch the Chaos Emeralds now! Cat throws the Chaos Emeralds. The T-2500.5 and the Probotector catch them. T-2500.5: Chaos Control. The T-2500.5 teleports to UnAnything. Likewise, the Probotector is teleported along with him because of Chaos Control. PROBOTECTOR: Location undefined. Transportation method undefined. Searching for Captain 1. T-2500.5: Where is he?! PROBOTECTOR: ...Unknown. Suddenly, there is an explosion from behind our heroes. T-2500.5: (Coldly) You. METAL SONIC: Hello. Why, it appears you are too late. UnAnything has fallen. I, Metal Sonic, have proven to be the victor. CAPTAIN 1: Yeah, yeah. Let me introduce you guys. Metal Sonic, these are vermin. Vermin, this is Metal Sonic. I've outsmarted you. The chaos emeralds the cat has? Notice you only have six. Never underestimate a creature as fast as I. Now you face two god-level beings. But hey, we're all robots here. I think we can work something out! I would prefer a peaceful resolution, and I'm sure you would as well. What do you say? T-2500.5: (Suspicously) Hmm...... You must be Captain 1 inside. (Thinking) You must have Captain 1 behind. Captain 1 walks up from behind Metal Sonic. CAPTAIN 1: Guess again. The T-2500.5 gasps. T-2500.5: Probotector! Continue aggressive operations, but this time, do it to Captain 1! PROBOTECTOR: Understood. The Probotector fires away at Captain 1 as he tries to radio Sonic. PROBOTECTOR: Sonic, come in. Do you copy, Sonic? We are under attack. Over. There is no response. PROBOTECTOR: No response found. Captain 1, eat my bullets. The Probotector continues to fire at Captain 1, strafing around him to avoid his retaliation. Captain 1 begins running circles around the Probotector at super speed. Metal Sonic zips toward the T-2500.5 and fires an energy blast at him. Captain 0 runs in at this point, sees what's going on, and begins firing energy bolts at the enemy. PROBOTECTOR: Target...lost...Sonic...come in! Suddenly, a "B" power-up floats above the Probotector's head, making him invincible. He runs at Captain 1, machine gun blazing.